By: Ashlee Bradford (Guest Blogger)
When Kevin asked me to “guest blog” a couple of weeks ago I meant everything I wrote. I DO feel as though I’ve come into a new level of contentment in the past year. However, one area that has been difficult has been my struggle with fertility. Our oldest daughter was a very pleasant surprise after Kevin and I had been married a few years…but were still in college and very young. Then because of PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) we used fertility medicine (Clomid and Progesterone) to get pregnant with our 2nd daughter.. The process lasted about 2 years and was incredibly frustrating. I remember praying about it time and time again and the only thing I ever head the Lord say about it was that Baby #3 would be a surprise and I wouldn’t have to go through the fertility drug crap again. I was relieved by this, primarily at that time because if there was to be a Baby #3, there had to be a Baby #2!
So, after our second daughter was born I “expected” a surprise. I see some irony in that now. Would I have really been surprised? But anyways, nothing happened. We moved to Wisconsin to plant the church, we bought a home. There were a lot of distractions and I never really had “baby fever” but yet that Word was always in the back of my mind. Finally, towards the end of 2008 I started thinking about really wanting another baby. I struggled with believing what I heard God say and the obvious lack of results. I felt older, and in some ways like we were moving into a different season of life because our girls were getting so big. In December I asked Kevin about going to the Dr., getting Clomid, going through the whole process again. He said, “OK” and I made my appt. Privately; I struggled with wondering if I was giving up on what I heard God say. Tests are done, prescriptions are written.
Before you can start fertility medicine they want to be 100% certain you are not pregnant. So, I took a test on cycle day 28 (as directed) and the test was negative. That was the expected result since my labwork indicated I had not ovulated. I called the nurse to tell her I was going to start the meds. I got the price tag from the pharmacy (over $100/per month). While I was chatting with the nurse she mentioned that it was possible I could have ovulated late and she wanted me to wait until cd 35 and take another test. To be honest, I was annoyed. I felt like she was just putting off my TTC (trying to conceive) efforts for another week. I almost went and picked up the meds anyways and got started. But — I’m a rule follower, and I already had another test so I waited.
Then last Monday (cycle day 34) I asked Kevin if he really wanted to do go through it all again? I wanted to know what he thought, if he resented the expense, or if he was just going along with what I wanted. He expressed some concern over how emotionally difficult it is, but said he was game for a few months. I felt so relieved we were on the same page. I also shared my hesitation because I really believed I heard from God that we wouldn’t have to use the fertility medicine again. He mentioned that perhaps I heard wrong, or what I heard was colored by my emotions, or that maybe it would make sense down the road. I commented that it was one of the clearest words I’d ever had from the Lord, but after nearly 4 years…who knows?
So Tuesday morning I woke up, and was rushing about to get our youngest ready for her dance class when I remembered I needed to take another test before I ran to Sam’s Club to pick up my meds. I’m so frugal it was the old fashioned 2 lines sort of test… I was totally expecting only line to appear, so I thought I was seeing things when a second line appeared. I ran downstairs to ask Kevin if he could see it (it was SO faint!) and he confirmed that he did see it but wanted me to calm down and go for a blood test. I dropped Kevin off at work, rushed to the clinic BEFORE the dance class and had the test done. By the time her class was over I still hadn’t heard the results from the clinic so I went to Walmart and picked up two of the digital tests. I honestly screamed when the word “Pregnant” came up on the tiny little screen. I don’t think I will ever purchase a test with lines again. I took both tests (just for fun, I guess) and then the doctors office called with the same result. Because the hcg levels were really low I had to go back in on Thursday for a second test but everything had doubled perfectly!
How amazing is God?! I do not think there could have been a day in the last 3 ½ years I would have been more surprised…and we never used fertility medicine…the plan was to start that very day! He is so faithful to keep His promises to us and His love NEVER fails us! To say I am excited is the understatement of the year…I’m ecstatic! We don’t care girl or boy…I love being a mom to girls and think having 3 girls would be awesome…yet having a boy would be something fun and different too. I’m very happy with whoever God blesses us with! I hope this encourages you…if you have a word that you have been holding in your heart for a long time…God has not forgotten it.
March 13, 2009 at 9:06 pm |
I’m excited all over again for you and my heart is jumping up and down! You are so blessed and it’s amazing, I love the story!
November 25, 2009 at 5:31 am |
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